Although I terribly missed the children and was devastated to miss the big move-in to the Duterte house, God used this time to teach me a number of things. It was a good several days to just sit in His presence without a whole lot else going on (besides feeling miserable...).
Even though I was away from home and family, God brought my CSC family right alongside of me during this difficult time. They visited, sat and listened, offered hugs and encouragement, reminded me of God's promises, brought me everything I needed, made me special food, got me to laugh, told me stories about the kids, watched TV with me, had game nights in the hospital (see pic), brought me flowers, advocated for me with the nurses/doctors.... they truly were the hands and feet of Christ - and of my family and friends who couldn't be there! I was blown away by how much they cared. I guess I didn't realize how much a simple visit in the hospital can mean. The days got long and sometimes lonely, and the appearance of a familiar face at the door would make my whole day!! There's something amazing about people who reach across that barrier of sickness and pain...that barrier that can sometimes be scary and awkward...to offer comfort, encouragement, hope, and even a big hug or a pat on the arm. It's truly selfless and Christ-like.My first day/night were very difficult and I battled fear and misery. I kept turning to God, honestly sharing my fears and doubts. I was afraid that my dream of being in Cebu was falling apart, afraid that I'd have to go home and not finish my year here. By Day 2, most of the fears slipped away though and I felt myself just sitting humble before God, acknowledging my complete trust in Him, but confessing my lack of faith as well.... I've been reading Chuck Swindoll's book, David, written about David in the Bible. One part I read in the hospital was when Swindoll described David's fight with Goliath. Swindoll says that as we fight our own giants in life, God essentially says, "All I ask of you is five smooth stones and a sling of faith. I'll take it from there...You just trust Me. And I'll strip you down to nothing but faith, and then I'll accomplish a victory where I'll get the glory. But as for you...you trust me." (How perfect is God's timing that I read that part at that time!)
That's pretty much what I felt in the hospital.... stripped down to my faith. That's the place God loves us to be....when we finally give up our hold on things - even the tiniest confidence in our own body's functioning! - and just say again, "All right, I remember... it's about YOU, not about ME." Not that it always turns out "good" in human terms, but that doesn't change God's sovereignty or ability to be trusted 100%. It's just that we can't see the whole puzzle. All we see is our one tiny piece and we try to apply our finite wisdom to that tiny piece, which doesn't work. My God is so much bigger than that...So this wasn't just several days of battling an infection. It was a difficult thing that God turned to good by drawing me closer to Himself. I'd rather not have to go through 9 days in the hospital to draw closer to my Lord and Savior, but sometimes He uses those sick times when we are down-and-out to draw more attention to Himself. I feel like I'm ready to face this next week with a renewed perspective...and of course, much better health!
Thank you to everyone who prayed for me while I was sick. I am excited to get back to teaching our precious children on Tuesday! Please continue to pray that my health will stay strong in the coming days, and that God will continue to daily draw me closer to Himself.
We are ALL glad you are doing better!
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