My Mary Musings

As I mentioned in my last blog, on Christmas Day evening, the staff had a live nativity of the Christmas story for all of our CSC kids.  (Check out that blog for more pics of that night!)  I had been asked ahead of time if I would play the role of Mary, which I gladly did.  However, in the craziness and fun of that evening, there was a lot going on in my head and my heart.  That's typically true of me....my wheels are constantly turning and my heartstrings are constantly being tugged.  On the outside, my expressions might not show a lot, but on the inside, there's usually a lot going on. 

So on this Christmas night, I set out to be the best Mary that I could, a role I'd never played before (except for one Halloween when I was little, when I dressed up as her!).  It was a very enjoyable evening and really neat way to share the real meaning of Christmas with the kids!!  However, there were a few things that night that really struck me.  Allow me to let you inside this head/heart of mine and share some Mary Musings...

.....From the moment the question, "Will you play Mary?" had been thrown out to the moment I was about to walk out onto the yard that evening, questions kept going through my head - "Why me?  Why did you ask me to play that part?  Couldn't you have asked someone else?  I'm sure someone else would fit that role much better.  Maybe it's better if so-and-so plays that part."  Then I realized...weren't those the same questions Mary asked God when He told her she was the chosen one?.....

.....I got my big blue bedsheet wrapped around me, and the hood-part stapled shut just a few moments before we started.  As I walked out, then sat there at the Nativity scene, I was sweating like crazy under that sheet in the Cebu heat.  I was quite uncomfortable in my costume (as was everyone, I'm sure), and sitting on the hay wasn't the most comfortable seat in the world either.  Then I realized...was Bethlehem hot and sticky?  Was Mary, who was pregnant then a brand-new mother, uncomfortable and hot, wishing for a more comfortable place?  Wasn't the stable one of the least comfortable places she could have been that night?.....

.....One of the highlights of this annual tradition at CSC is to bring in live animals, so we had a real cow, real horse, and real sheep.  As "Joseph" (Joemar) and I walked over to the stable, we had to walk quite close to the cow, who then started to walk towards me.  I was afraid he was going to butt me, so I scampered a bit out of the way, as I also carefully watched for animal droppings on the ground.  I sat at the "stable" during the rest of the story, and was in awe of the live animals that had been brought in.  I was a little uncomfortable with how close they were, not wanting them to get too close and get me dirty or stinky.  I was also a little bothered with the noises they would make in the midst of our "perfect scene".  Then I realized...Mary and Joseph stayed in a stable for at least a whole night in Bethlehem.  Mary gave birth in the midst of stinky, noisy, dirty animals, maybe of all sizes.  Definitely not the "Silent Night" we sometimes assume it was.  There probably wasn't much sweet and cozy and beautiful about it.  I had a whole new appreciation for what they may have endured.....

.....I sat there by the Baby Jesus doll as the scene unfolded.  Paul read the story and the angel choir sang Christmas songs at the appropriate times in the story.  I watched as the housefathers and Joel played great shepherds, fearing the angel (Tammy) who appeared to them.  I knew the story by heart of course, so I knew that they would then come and bow down to the Christ child.  But then it happened, and it seemed different.  I realized...what a powerful and amazing thing it must have been for Mary to watch the shepherds bow down to her newborn child.  As I watched them bow down in front of this baby doll, I looked down and as I imagined it as Jesus, I thought, "But He's just a baby....just a baby....and they're bowing down....but He's the Son of God in that little body."  A baby sent to Earth to eventually save all of us from our sins....remarkable.  So remarkable that people came to bow down to this baby.  I felt like I got a very small glimpse of how Mary must have felt.  I think I'm the only one in that yard that night who knew how I truly played the part inside when it was read, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  I just couldn't help it.  It was all happening in my heart without me even trying...and to imagine how it must have been 100-fold for the real Mary.....

.....Celebrating Christmas with the CSC staff and kids was a very very special experience - most likely one I won't have again anytime soon.  As wonderful as it was, it was very hard to be away from home and my family at Christmas for the first time in my 27 years of life.  However, in an email from a friend one day, she shared some thoughts about the first Christmas and my Christmas in Cebu.  I realized...Mary was away from her home and family during Christmastime too.  She was a long ways away and in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by many unfamiliar people when she gave birth to the Son of God.  I had more compassion for Mary upon realizing how she might have felt during such a significant moment in her life so far away from home and family.....

As the evening quickly concluded and everyone went their separate ways, I felt like I had a whole new connection to and understanding of Mary, the mother of Jesus.  For some reason, God wanted me to experience this Christmas evening in a way like no other.  I realized...Maybe this Christmas for me was far more similar to the first Christmas than it ever has been in my life...something I am truly grateful for.